Ricky speaks in his defense: “Because I’ve been on the bottom so much….” Oh honey, we know. But seriously, Ricky knows denim and he’s finally doing a good job (his work at right) in this challenge. He’s got more talent than his performance on this show has indicated so far.

Christian: “I’m drowning in barfness.” Yes, yes you are.

Chris: “Sorry, does my talking to my garment disturb you? I don’t really care.” Tim’s not impressed with his work. I can’t tell myself, but as a rule I don’t bet against anything Tim says.

Jillian has bitten off more than she can chew, runs late, keeps pricking herself with needles, cries. Whatever. Chris can’t sympathize, because she’s always running late and running herself ragged. Chris may not be the most visionary, but he’s got the time-management skills to succeed in any business. He’s got a future, that’s for sure.

Jillian and Victorya both have jackets. They glare at each other over the similarity. Rami’s got a good dress that’s not draped like everything else he’s done. Sweet P is making a wedding dress. It’s incredibly tacky and Tim hates it. I can’t really tell, because I hate her bangs so much it colors my opinion of every outfit she designs. She decides to change it, which turns out to be a very good idea.

The morning of the show: Is Rami really spraying himself all over with cologne? Is Ricky really going to wear that hat? Is Jillian ever going to realize it’s her own fault that she’s running out of time? Is the constantly-on-edge Victorya finally going to crack?

Before the show, we get a Levi’s ad where the guy pulls his pants on and a streetscape emerges into his bedroom, complete with a hottie in a phone booth. We’ve seen this ad before, but this time, the hottie is a dude. Does “Project Runway” have a significant gay audience? I had no idea. Shocked. Etc.

Runway show: Nobody’s really outstandingly bad. I hate to admit it, but Christian’s jeans have an awesome motocross look that the guest judge, from Levi’s, loves. I hate her hair though- it makes her forehead look enormous. And I still hate him personally. I’m really afraid he’s going to win with this.

Chris isn’t great: “Joan Cusack in ‘Working Girl’ says. Rami’s done a fine job, and the judges are relieved he’s done something different from his usual draping. I think Ricky’s look is fine, but the judges love it. Obviously, he bursts into tears. Jillian’s look is “overcomplicated” and “unflattering,” and Victorya’s is ugly, too easy. Sweet P’s dress (top left) is “super chic” and has “slimming voodoo.” Michael says even he would wear it if he had the right shoes. Like he’d fit into it.

Winner: Ricky. Not only does Ricky cry at this news, but Christian looks like he’s about to burst into tears as well. I couldn’t be more pleased.

Bottom two: Victorya and Jillian. Funny that they were both infuriated at each other for designing similar outfits. Similarly awful!

Loser: Christian. OK, he didn’t lose the competition, and he had immunity this week anyway, but trust me, he’s a loser. Victorya went home.

Next week, Michael will say he feels like the pope at a sex club. I assume he knows what that’s like because he has dressed as the pope at sex clubs before. I mean, who hasn’t? Maybe he should go on “Moment Of Truth” so we can ask him about
it.